And Three Become Six

Becoming a mother is nothing short of receiving the most precious gift to have ever been given.  From the first moment of questioning if you are actually pregnant, to the light exhilarating energy of the first moment you feel your child moving inside your whom.  Words cannot express the ever growing, loving bond that begins to form between a mother and her unborn child. Once born, your infant inspires and motivates you to strive to be the best possible mommy to them that you know they deserve.  Along the way there are undoubtedly bumps, stumbles, and barriers you must cross on your quest to mommy greatness.  Ultimately all that matters is the love that is shared between you and your child. 

As I struggle through my own quest as a mother, I find myself dwelling on the 'what ifs' and the 'why not mes'. I have forgotten to cherish the feeling and love that aunts are blessed with from their precious gifts given from siblings.  A mother of one, but an aunt to many.  I have received the second best gift that could be given.  To my siblings: thank you for allowing me to love and cherish your children and congratulations on our gifts to come! xoxo

Today's Scare as a Mother

Little feet scurry vigorously across the tile floor, heading from one room to the next. My attention is grabbed by the sound of a small child forcing up mucus from his throat. "Run to the bathroom quick honey!" I exhale after him. Merely focused on my child I return myself back to my phone conversation in the kitchen. A small wall is built in my mind from knowing that my son likes to make himself vomit when he doesn't like something. But what was he eating?

This wall began crashing down within a single breath...

Racing back out of the kitchen, my child holds his hand to his mouth catching a fistful of clear slimy mucus. Alarms start ringing as I ease my son towards me. I hear myself telling him to spit it out, and that it is going to be alright. I urge him to stand still, now in the middle of the dinning room. Small gurgling noises escape his tiny throat, with this, falsely assuring myself he is fine. Within an instant his knees hit the cold smooth tile floor; his hands instantly grasping his throat. Now kneeling with him our eyes meet. Large fear filled brown eyes plead back at me as his tiny hands fall from his throat. I calmly beckon for him to spit it out, afraid to do anything. My mind races as I try to remember my CPR training....If they are making noises you do nothing right? Right!

His tiny back is arched forward one hand on his throat, the other cupping mucus as it flows from his mouth. I grab his left biceps, kneeling slightly to his side. My nails dig into my palm as I create a fist. Pushing the heal of my hand out I bring my hand quickly down on his back directly behind his sternum. Nothing, only the sound of a fluid filled gasp of air fills the now shrinking house. What seemed like a life time later his first deep breath of air was achieved followed by a strong deep cough. The clang of a small shiny coin echoes through the 11 room home as it collides with the cold green tile floor. My child and I reach for each other simultaneously, collapsing into each others' arms. As I clean his face gently with a clothe he looks up. His large brown eyes frozen in fear pleads for forgiveness. He begins softly crying, "Sorry to do that mom." Kissing him on the head telling him I wasn't mad; trying to explain my own fear to him. Kissing his head we begin talking about putting things in our mouths and the dangers of choking...

A large lesson was learned by both of us today......

Still uneasy about the way I handled the situation I decided to do some research and am signing up for the first available CPR course!